Ever heard the phrase “live and let live”? I’m all for it. You wanna binge Netflix, game all night, or do absolutely nothing with your life, go ahead. I’m not here to judge.
But here’s the thing: just because I let people live their life doesn’t mean I want that energy in my circle.
In this episode, I talk about how my mindset flipped from being a lazy, chore-dodging teenager to someone who now chooses my circle intentionally. We’ll chat about boundaries, growth, and that uncomfortable truth we all learn sooner or later: you can’t want someone’s success more than they want it themselves.
Full Transcript:
Hey, welcome back to JacQ of All Trades! This is episode 15, and today we’re diving into one of my favorite contradictions in life. You know that whole “live and let live” philosophy? Yeah, I’m all for it. Harm no one, do whatever you want. If you wanna Netflix-binge for twelve hours straight or game until your eyeballs look like dried prunes, go ahead.
But here’s the catch. People can do whatever they want with their lives…I don’t know about you but but I don’t like having the “doing nothing” energy around me.
And that, my friends, is today’s topic.
Okay, confession time. When I was a kid (and for a solid stretch of my teenage years), I was that person, completely useless around the house. I didn’t help with chores. My main contribution was consuming an unhealthy amount of snacks and putting the TV on life support from excessive gaming.
At the time, I didn’t see the problem. Isn’t that what being a teenager is all about? You just exist, eat, nap, and occasionally roll your eyes at your parents. Looking back though, I kinda wish I had done more. Even something small like learning how to cook or saving a bit of money would’ve helped me later in life.
So yeah, I’ve lived the “lazy goblin” lifestyle. Which is why I get it.
Since adulthood, my mindset has done a complete 360. And yes, I know that means technically I spun in a circle and ended up where I started, but math was never my strong suit, okay? Let’s just say, I flipped my mindset big time.
Now, the idea of contributing nothing, not to my home, not to my work, not to society, just makes me itch. Like, physically uncomfortable. I can’t do it.
That doesn’t mean I go around lecturing people, though. I’m not about that unsolicited advice life. If someone’s happy with how they’re living, that’s fine. I’ll let them be. But, and here’s the big but, it doesn’t mean I want to marinate in their vibes.
See, I want to spend my time around people who are doing things. Building, creating, learning, contributing, whatever it is, as long as there’s some movement. Lazy, ungrateful, non-contributing energy? Not for me.
Not because I’m worried I’ll turn into them. I know who I am. But because it just… annoys the heck out of me. And honestly, life is way too short to hang out in constant irritation.
You’ve probably heard that Jim Rohn quote: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
And I think that’s true, at least to a certain extent. Who I am today? That’s a direct result of the people I’ve surrounded myself with over the years. And I’ve seen what happens on the flip side too. In my own family, the wrong crowd, the wrong influences, led to the wrong outcomes.
That’s why I’ve always been picky about my inner circle, even online. Like, yes, I can be cheeky and a little naughty at times. I’m not some perfect goody two shoes. But what I love is connecting with open-minded people. People who love learning, people who can hold conversations that go beyond “so… how’s the weather?”
Now, here’s the nuance. Before you think I’m being selfish, let me make this clear: I do think we should try nudging people to do better, especially if they’re people we love.
Encourage them to think about their future. Help them see their potential. Sometimes, we might even want to push a little harder, because we believe in them. And that’s a beautiful thing.
But here’s the hard truth I had to learn and I’ve talked about this, let see, in Episode 5: You cannot want someone’s success more than they want it themselves.
That one stings, right? Because when it’s your sibling, or your best friend, or your partner, you want it for them so badly. You can see the path so clearly, but if they don’t want to walk it? You’re just dragging them along, and eventually, you burn out.
So that’s where I stand. Live and let live. Do whatever you want as long as you’re not hurting anyone. But me? I’m gonna choose carefully who I spend my time with. Because I don’t just want to exist around people. I want to grow with them.
And if that means politely stepping away from the lazy Netflix-goblin crowd, so be it.
Alright, that’s it for today’s episode of JacQ of All Trades. I hope this gave you something to think about when it comes to your own circle; who you let in, and who you need a little distance from.
If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to hit follow so you don’t miss the next one. And hey, if you want to dive deeper into the whole “you can’t want success more than they do” idea, you can go back to Episode 5 if you haven’t listened to it already.
Thanks for hanging out with me today, and I’ll catch you in the next one!
