Don’t Ask for Opinions

You probably heard the phrase many times before, “Opinions are the cheapest commodity.” People love to give it and they love to ask for it.

I’m not a big fan of opinions when it comes to personal issues such as family, relationship and anything to do with people. I don’t ask for it and I don’t want to give it. I think each individual should resolve this on their own with moral support, if they need it, but never opinions.

Why?

Because opinions regarding conflicts and issues related to people can lead to complaints and gossips. Opinions are never objective. They’re assumptions. You give opinions based on your own logic and judgment, which might not be how the real situation is especially when you’re not one of the parties involved in the situation. So, keep your opinions to yourself and just be there to support. Shut up and listen. Don’t comment.

I constantly get asked for opinions by friends and strangers alike, sometimes on really personal issues. With friends, I mostly play my role as a listener. If I’m compelled to say something, most of the time, it’s feedback they don’t want to hear. So, to maintain peace, I rather not say anything. Besides, they’re not my clients. I’m not obliged to give my feedback unless they ask for it.

As for acquaintances and strangers, I can only tell them that I have no comment because I don’t have any objective view of the situation, knowing so little. I’m not going to probe further because…well, it’s really not my problem to begin with, isn’t it? I don’t want to be one of those people who take on people’s problems and champion it (yes, that was an opinion.) Again, I can’t really play my role as a coach to ask questions and give feedback because they’re not my clients.

The next time you feel the need to ask for opinions, think twice and you might discover that you really don’t. You already know it in your heart what you’re going to do about the situation, you’re just unsure and you just need to talk it out. Before you relate your issues to others, let them know you just want to vent it out and you don’t need their opinions.

If you’re lost and need guidance, you don’t need your family or friends’ opinions. Their opinions are going to be biased. Seek for a trained coach who has no prior relationships or emotionally vested in any parties involved in your conflicts/ issues and get them to help you. Coaches don’t work on opinions, they work on feedback. That’s what you really need. A neutral and objective feedback, sometimes might not be what you want to hear but you need to hear it.

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