5 Little Things You Do that Drive People Away

(This is an updated post. It was originally posted on February 24th, 2015.)

Often we hear about the little things you can do to make someone’s day or your day better and generally these little things add up to the happiness you can potentially create for yourself and for the people around you.

At the same time, there are also the little things that we don’t realize we’re doing that are actually making someone’s day worse off. These tiny annoyances are accumulated over time that it creates frustration resulting a strain in your relationship with them. You wouldn’t even know why they’re beginning to stay away from you.

While we can afford to NOT notice the nice little things we do for others, we cannot afford to ignore our tiny actions that are causing problems, big or small, for others. So, if you don’t realize it, it’s time to take a look at these 5 little things you may be doing to your family and friends.

Stop wasting people’s time…or life. 

Be punctual. You know very well that you won’t be late on purpose if you were to go for a job interview or to meet an important client, then why are you doing that to your family and friends? Are they so insignificant in your life that you have to make them wait around for you?

Decide. Whether it’s deciding something to eat or making a decision at work, make up your mind already! At work in particular, when others’ work are depending on your decision or completion of work from your side, it’s not fair at all that they have to wait around for you.

Stop looking at your phone or tablets when people are talking to you.

smartphone

You’re not going to be at your deathbed wishing you would have spent more time with your freaking phone or Facebook! Besides, it’s rude to be staring at your phone when people are talking to you and then having to repeat what they said because you didn’t hear them at first as you were so busy checking on the news feed of those who are not even there with you! Again, back to point one, you’re wasting people’s time. If you prefer to spend time with your phone, don’t bother asking your friends out to catch up, just get them on Whatsapp or Facebook messenger. At least that way they will have your attention.

Stop making last minute changes that involve others having to change their plan to accommodate your plan.

Plan ahead. Unless it’s a matter of life and death, don’t make last minute changes that require other people to drop everything else they could have planned to attend to your needs. Do you think whoever you are or whatever you do is so important that the world revolves around you? They have a life too, you know.

Stop taking advantage of your friends’ skills.

I think those of you who are in the service oriented profession such as lawyers, designers, consultants and to name a few would understand this feeling when your family and friends expect you to work for free. They ask you for legal advice or design a logo or coach them on their business. They call it “favours” so they’re not going to pay for it.

There’s a huge difference between a friend in need of a favour and a cheapskate. If you need to put your friends’ professional skills to full use, pay them! I’m sure they’ll be happy to do that with full commitment to quality as well as giving you a big fat discount in the name of friendship and your support.

Stop thinking your beliefs are facts that you need to impose that on others.

facts

Just because you believe it wholeheartedly for all your life doesn’t make it a fact. So what if the beliefs have been in existence for centuries? Long time ago, every single soul on the planet believed the earth was flat, it didn’t make it so. So, there’s a strange light in an abandoned old house at night, there must be a spirit dancing about? Puh-lease.

Don’t be scornful at skeptics just because you’re too darn lazy to seek out the facts. If there are no skeptics in this world who ask questions and refuse to believe blindly, nobody would be boarding ships today for fear of falling off the face of the earth.

Agree to disagree and respect what others believe in if you want people to respect your beliefs. That, my friend, is what we call open-mindedness. Bigotry is the quickest way to damage any kinds of relationships.

No big deal? Think again!

So what if we do all the above? No big deal right?

You might think all of the above are affecting only one or two person but you couldn’t be more wrong! It can create a chain of unpleasant events for everyone else. All I’m trying to say is to be considerate. It doesn’t kill to just take a moment and just consider the needs of others. It matters.